Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
