you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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