wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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