Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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