I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
