He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
