She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I did not marry a roomba.
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