We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
