I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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