who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
