He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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