Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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