I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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