Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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