Heybabeimwearingurpanties
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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