she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
