i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
