Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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