Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think people are normalizing furries
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
