So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
