So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize