he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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