Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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