I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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