Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I lost the right to judge tonight
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
