I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
