Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
