He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize