Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
