well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
