We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
