You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
