The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize