belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
