Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need to sanitize my soul.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
