Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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