it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
