HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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