My room smells like vodka and shame
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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