So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
