if i can run in heels then i can drive
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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