i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
