you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
