I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
