dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
