I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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