...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
