im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
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Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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