The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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