everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
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Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
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I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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