why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
