dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder