this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.