how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
