I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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