Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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