Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
