i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
last night I used snow as a chaser
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
