some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
