Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
