I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
